i know it's been forever

but fuck off. i had swine flu. no joke. it basically put me out of commission, and by out of commission, i mean asleep with a fever between 100 and 103, for five days. i could have brain damage. who knows, really.

this isn't a real post anyway either, so i can fuck off for that one.

i've been a bit down lately and i found myself searching around for some new tunes to cheer me up a bit. anyway, i did find some sweet tunes so i'll rustle up the gumption and post about them soon. tonight i just want to feel bittersweet.

anyone who knows me knows that i'm obsessed with frightened rabbit. anyway, i was perusing a few blogs and happened across a frightened rabbit live video. not the one below, but the same song:



anyway (and i preface this with the following comment: "yes. i'm aware that i'm being lame and a teeny bit pathetic") but anyway, all of the sudden i remembered being in my ex boyfriend's car, just after christmas, when i went down to visit him for 10 days, on our way to a movie. we were running a bit late because he made this red thai curry for supper. he made fun of me because i didn't quite trust that the chicken was cooked all the way through. i totally didn't think it was cooked all the way through.

it was incredibly cold and his car always took a little to while to warm up. it was old.

we had to take the highway to get to the theatre on time. we listened to frightened rabbit the whole way there. i swear, i can remember that song playing in the car and looking over at him and just feeling so. incredibly. happy.

it's just bittersweet. it's a great memory, but it's marred by the fact that we don't talk anymore and probably never will. that week, i was happier than i'd ever been, almost certainly. i know i'll be that happy again someday. but, i do miss him. just a little. from time to time.

i guess this is sort of inappropriate for a blog about music. but, in a way, it all relates. a song, a good song, always has meaning. this song in particular has the ability to actually bring back the smell of the cold, cold air that night. that's a pretty powerful track, if you ask me.